Today’s topic: Your biggest insecurity & something about yourself you are proud of.
Hmm… OK, I admit this was one of the topics that made me cringe when I originally read over the list of topics. Now that I think about it, I might enjoy writing about these things. Thankfully, after thinking about this all day, it seems I have more to talk about with the second part of the topic. I suppose that’s a good thing!
You see, my biggest insecurity and something I’m proud of both happen to be the same thing: my mind. My mind doesn’t process information the same way most people’s minds do. I still don’t fully understand WHY it’s different, only that it is. I struggle with anxiety and mild depression… and in the past couple of years, physical pain from “minor” panic attacks. As a result, how I see myself in my own mind and the person that other people see isn’t necessarily the same person. This causes the most anxiety in social situations. Ugh, hate them a lot of the time. I’m OK if I know the people I’m around, but it’s a disaster if I don’t. I’m not shy. I’m self-confident 99% of the time. I just can’t handle unknown social situations. Thankfully I have gotten a little better since my line of work has forced me to, but that doesn’t mean I like it.
So why is my mind something I’m proud of? Well, I happen to like the way I think. I like thinking differently! I don’t see the world like everyone else and that suits me just fine. I’m self-confident and I have excellent problem solving abilities. If I don’t know how to do something, I don’t hesitate to learn. For example: I bought a refurbished netbook with Linux on it, simply because I wanted to learn Linux. Turns out the version of Linux that was on it was garbage, so I learned how to get another version and install it on the netbook. Another example: I picked up a Pandigital Novel ereader for around $60 just after Christmas. The only reason I got it was because I heard it could be hacked into an Android tablet. Did I have any idea what I was doing? Nope, but I wanted to do it anyway. Learned how to flash a new firmware to it and now I have a little 7″ Android tablet. Kinda funny, it works as an ereader too. 😉
I wanted to learn how to coupon shop, so I learned. I’ve rehabbed several spyware laden computers simply for the challenge. I took an obsessive interest in household finances and put ours on track with exceptional credit reports. I then went on to pull two other households out of financial ruin with that knowledge.
Despite my social anxieties, I went to college and double majored in Math and Biology. I met a guy and got married. I got a job as a temp and I’ve been with the company almost 12 years now. When I went in there my first day they asked me “What can you do?” I replied “Anything.”
Anything. That is what I am proud of. There is no reason to expect otherwise from me. I can do anything I want to.
Now if I could just figure out WHAT I want to do, that would be great… 😉
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